Poo(p) Pourri

Imagine this. You're at a swanky bar, dressed to the 9s, sipping on cocktails, talking to a group of people who think you're the coolest girl on the earth. Then you're tummy begins to rumble. And not because you're hungry. You mentally chastise yourself because you know you should've have stayed away from that taco earlier. You politely excuse yourself and make your way to the restroom.

You quickly slam the restroom door shut, sit down on the toilet and get to business. The clock is ticking and you really want to leave, but today just isn't your day. So you keep sitting there waiting for business to end. You can sense that the line outside the restroom is getting longer and longer. People are getting impatient and you can hear them murmuring to each other "Is anybody in there? It's been forever! Why don't you knock?". Then an impatient knock on the door and you respond, in a strangled, embarrassed voice, "Yes". "Oh", says that person. 

The deed is done and you finally hit the fancy looking flush on the fancy looking toilet you just completely destroyed. But now you face your biggest problem. How do you explain to the girl outside that she probably needs to stay away from the restroom stall for maybe two days if she wants to avoid dying? You open the door and quickly run out the restroom door before anyone takes note of your face and then recognizes you walking around the bar later on.

If that's the story of your life, apparently there's a fantastic product you need to buy. "Poo Pourri" it's called. 

I watched the youtube video and died laughing. Apparently you spray the fragrance into the water of the toilet before you "go" and then after you've "gone" , the layer of essential oils on the water blocks the scent and traps it underneath the water. When you flush you will be able to smell peaches, vanilla, cinnamon and other lovely goodies (depending on what flavor "Poo Pourri" you chose to buy) instead of the terrible crime you just committed behind that shut door. 

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing. 

I know what I'm buying every single person I know for Xmas this year. May we smell like dessert factories always, even at our darkest, most heinous hour.

Laughing in your sleep

I do this ALL the time.

Just when I started thinking I had a big problem I woke up one night in Murray to faint laughter. I turned around and Jonathan was giggling really hard, eyes tightly shut.


Phew. I'm not crazy.


Just had to remind myself!

You are feeling sleeeepy.

On Wednesday, after my GRE exam finally ended, Jonathan and I headed to the university to attend the hypnotist show. A hypnotist was performing on stage for all the college kids!

He called several kids on stage, got them to sit down and slowly lulled them into a trance -like state of mind. And they actually did all the crazy things he asked them to do! It was hilarious and we had so much fun watching. When they were in their hypnotic state or whatever it's called they'd appear to be asleep, slumped on their chairs. When he snapped his fingers they'd wake up and start doing whatever he had asked them to do while they were 'asleep'.

Hey, I wanna be hyptonized too!

Bumping into your nurse at the mall

I just woke up and am dismally looking around my apartment at the huge mess that seems to have built up since my return. I wish I could blame Jonathan but when I walked in after my NYC trip it was spic and span :-P . So I shall grudgingly admit that it's all my fault. My suitcase is perched precariously on top of the chaise and I honestly don't know why. I console myself with this picture :

And I so do love museums :-P.

Yesterday mom and I headed to Clarksville so I could do a TB Gold test to complete my immigration medical requirements. The nurse was all smiley and nice. She also managed to pronounce my name correctly so I was really starting to like her! I officially declared myself (in my head) her biggest fan ever when she managed to draw three vials of blood without accusing me of possessing 'skinny veins' (this is the Murray hospital's reason for poking my arm a zillion times before they find a 'fat' vein :( Fat-ish vein in my case ). I knew for a fact she and I were meant to be when we bumped into her at the mall some 100 hours after we left the clinic because that's how long we were shopping haha ^.^ .

Jonathan is now referring to mom's van as 'the sleigh' because apparently we looked like this on our way back to Murray, with all our shopping loot :

Does that mean I'm Stanley the spare reindeer?!?!

(Speaking of Stanley, is it just me or does anyone else think he looks a little ... well, not all there?!)

But what's wrong with a little Christmas every now and then?! :-D

Let's hear it for New York! Days 3,4,5

The last few days in New York involved little outings with my friends, parties, cartoons and lots of fun!

One trip was to the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum which was fantastic!!

 

This was a dark room with a big screen. We were projected on to the screen in different colors, with hip hop music playing in the background .. kind of like a club! So you could keep dancing and watch yourself change color on the screen! It was SO much fun!! 

 

The sign reads 'Batman' :-P. Bruce Wayne would be horrified :-P.

The funniest display in the museum was a headless mannequin depicting breast augmentation. The mannequin was flat chested and wore a pink t shirt. Below was a big red button saying 'PRESS'. When you pressed the button, HUGE breasts suddenly popped out and appeared on the mannequin (beneath the t shirt thankfully). I was still laughing at this when a young mother with two little boys appeared. Her sons were at this moment looking at some other display in the room. She, however, was near the mannequin so she pressed the button and immediately gasped in horror when you know what suddenly popped out :-P . She quickly moved away to the other side of the room where her sons were. "MOM, what's thatttt?" the kids asked pointing to the scandalous pink t-shirt clad headless mannequin. "Oh .. urm , nothing .. heyy look at that!" , she said and quickly pushed them into the next room. My friend and I were literally rolling on the floor laughing our heads off. SO hilarious! 

I'm back in Murray now. I do miss the hustle and busy of the city but I've missed Jonathan so I'm glad to be back. 

Bridesmaids

On friday night we decided to rent out three movies from the library to watch over the weekend. I told my 26 year old husband he could pick all 3 movies.

This is what he picked :

Yes, my grown up, 26 year old, manly man picked a movie called 'Bridesmaids' whose DVD cover has a picture of five ladies in pink :-P .

 And yes, that's how I responded.

So I withdrew my generous offer and picked the remaining two movies myself - 'New York, I love you' and 'Revolutionary Road'.

That turned out to be a big, fat mistake because Bridesmaids turned out to be hilarious and my movies turned out to be just awful. So a certain someone looked all smug the entire day today :-P . Moral of the story - never underestimate a DVD whose cover has five ladies in pink on it.

Oh well.

p.s - My husband wants the moral of the story to be "Always listen to the husband" .... but I'm pretending I can't hear him ^.^

My tomato plant's arch enemy

I was about to go water my plant when I saw this through the window -

The wild hare that I've been admiring everyday and calling cute is now my plant's and my arch enemy because, evidently, I caught it eyeing my tomatoes when it thought nobody was watching. 

If I find a tomato missing I'm going to buy a BB gun and it's bye bye mister bunny.

My husband the squirrel murderer

I forgot to mention this in my previous blog post.

We were on the way to our friend's house to go fishing when I suddenly saw the cutest little squirrel with the bushiest tail ever dart across the road. I was admiring it saying "Awww, look!" when it suddenly disappeared and I heard a little thud as the car wheel hit something.


Jonathan consoled me by saying that the squirrel could not have kicked the bucket but was just probably stunned. So I was happy again!



But then I saw him smirk.





In other words, there is now a squirrel shaped smear on Furches Trail, Murray, KY.

Now you don't !

I finally watched 'Now you see me' on Sunday! For those of you who haven't watched it yet, WHAT are you waiting for?!?! I love Woody Harrelson :D . Anyway, the movie is captivating and will keep you guessing till the very end. And who can resist a good magic trick :) ?

Jesse Eisenberg's all grown up now ^.^ I kind of miss the dorky kid from Zombieland! Speaking of Zombieland, I watched that also again on friday night. I nearly choked on my asparagus from laughing so hard.

So fattys, beware. 

Radio gaga

So one of Jonathan's friends who works for a radio station here wanted us to tell 'our story' for a radio program she's working on. The program is about several people who have different, interesting stories to tell, not only about marriage but also their lives. And ours being a rather unique one was one of their picks.

So we headed to the recording studio last night and they interviewed us about how we met, how we decided to get married, how Jonathan proposed, the wedding, Indian culture etc. It was fun and we really enjoyed telling our funny, amazing story about how my family met his dad on the Israel trip, how Jonathan and I got talking, how I wore my spongebob t shirt when I first skyped with him (lol) etc :-) .

For the sound test they asked me to say my full name into the mic and I said "Meghna Paul". Then Jonathan cleared his throat and loudly said "Ahem ... Meghna RAJ".  

OOPS (I did it again?) 

Bob, Bobette and some cake

One of my birthday presents was a tomato plant from my mother in law :-) . I must admit that for the first couple of days I completely forgot about it. But I eventually remembered and to prevent any more mess-ups I wrote 'TOMATO PLANT' on a note and stuck it on my fridge as a constant reminder.

My note has clearly worked because on returning from my Louisville trip I found that my plant had begun sprouting little, green tomatoes.  I would have never imagined, in my wildest dreams, that five green tomatoes would one day excite Meghna Paul so much :-O .

So Jonathan and I decided to name them because they're so special right now (and we had nothing else to do last night).

I therefore present to you my tomatoes Bob (the oldest), Bobette, Harry, Baby Harriette and Jules :

Apart from naming my tomatoes, I've actually been doing some good cooking and even baked a delicious devils food cake with chocolate and strawberry frosting using the strawberries I picked last week.

I also did some GRE prep (quite sincerely, mind you) and Jonathan's giving me a mock test in two weeks. So you see, I haven't been all that unproductive. 

Love at first... skype!

June 4, 2012 

Jonathan's dad, uncle and aunt were coming over to check me out. My email conversation with my best friend went like this (timings are off because my gmail has changed time zones):

On Jun 4, 2012 12:02 PM, "Meghna Paul"  wrote:

Marriage folks coming home this evening . So awkward for me . It's so not me :S .

On Mon, Jun 4, 2012 at 2:33 AM, Meghna Paul wrote:

Not him . His dad , aunt and uncle . Yikes.

On Mon, Jun 4, 2012 at 9:07 AM, Meghna Paul  wrote:

They are coming now! Waiting in the living room . So weird . So not me.

On Jun 4, 2012 6:38 PM, "edelweiss.89"  wrote:

omg. sooo awkward. youre going to just stay in your room? or have to see them formally?!?!?!! NOT for you. 

 On Jun 4, 2012 6:42 PM, "Meghna Paul"  wrote:

| It's a very very casual visit . Nothing formal . So I will meet them too. My parents said check the guy out and back out if you're not interested, no problem :p They're late!

On Mon, Jun 4, 2012 at 9:14 AM, Meghna Paul wrote:

So we're waiting . Thinkk theyre here . Lolllllll . This is sooo funny! 

On Jun 4, 2012 6:47 PM, "edelweiss.89"  wrote:

YES. exactly what i was thinking!! marriage !!!! for you :O and just realized we're like so grown up now...OK let me know HOW IT GOESSSS. 

From: Meghna Paul 

Date: Mon, Jun 4, 2012 at 10:12 AM

To: "edelweiss.89" 

| Went fine :) Veryyyy casual :) not awkward 

June 6, 2012 

Found that email lying in my inbox :-) The email is funny and it holds my attention and I don't lose interest.. which is a really good sign :-D. 

June 8, 2012 

I was wearing a spongebob squarepants t shirt the entire day. Jonathan and I were furiously texting each other and he suddenly asked if I wanted to skype. I agreed but told myself that I refuse to change into a nice outfit and get all dolled up for some guy and that if it was meant to be he'd love me despite my quirky T shirts :-P. So I stayed in my spongebob T, much to his amusement :-D.  The skype session went unbelievably well. We both signed out feeling .. different :-). 

June 15, 2012 

 I'm leaving for Kenya today for 10 days. We both realize we won't be able to speak to each other for these 10 days so Jonathan confesses what he feels for me, finally!

6/15/12 1:47:36 PM: Jonathan Raj: Since our first Skype session, I honestly had this crazy feeling that Friday night that I couldn't shake off. Haven't had that feeling since high school. Freaked me out honestly. I feel there is a lot of electricity between us and it makes me excited. On top of that, it's really hard to get you out of my head.  So there you go, that's a peek in side doc bollywooods heart :) .

I board the plane feeling ecstatic :-). I feel the same way. 

Ten days later, after no contact with him (which was awful!!),  I am more than a 100% sure that he's the one I want to marry. 

September 26, 2012

Jonathan sends me an itinerary 'by mistake' with details about his surprise visit in 'november'. I get really suspicious, email it to my cousin Anisha and we analyze it with a fine tooth comb and finally conclude that it's fake and that he is visiting much sooner. But I'm still scared to believe that he'll be here soon just in case the nov itinerary really isn't fake at all. 

October 4, 2012 

Jonathan lands up in my house on a surprise visit!!! I wasn't exactly clueless about his coming because there were a few giveaways (like my mom furiously cleaning the house .. lol!) but I still wasn't 100% sure just in case he didn't come. I barely slept that night.. I was texting him literally every five mins (he got wi fi on the plane so I don't get suspicious).  And there he was in the morning :') .  That night he proposed to me at the Hilton with a diamond ring and a 100 roses :-). 

January 7, 2013

Meghna Paul actually gets married. 

And the rest, as they say, is history :-) . 

U is for Unibrow

So today I awoke bright and early to go to Clarksville to get a  physical (medical) exam required for greencard/US immigration purposes. Rebecca picked me up at 7.30 a.m and we were on our way.

The exam was the usual. He checked my reflexes, peered into various orifices, took a blood test bla bla. Apart from being accused of possessing 'skinny veins' (hmph!), everything went off smoothly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. 

After the exam we headed to the mall and checked out a couple of stores. Our tummies started growling so we began searching for a nice place to eat at. But something else caught my eye - Brow Spaaaaa!! 

What is Brow Spa and why did it excite me so? Let me explain.

Ok, so after being used to getting my eyebrows threaded (dirt cheap) in India and finding myself in a country where people have to shell out quite a bit to visit a salon, I found myself in quite a tight spot. In India, I was used to going to the salon every week for something or the other - for a mani-pedi or to wax my arms or to thread my eyebrows or get a massage or a hair spa. But here I realized I couldn't do that anymore. (Well, not until I start making my own money so I can do it guilt-free, without using my husband's credit card) Also, eyebrow threading isn't common and I was pretty sure that salons in Murray did not do it.

For those who haven't heard of eyebrow threading - it's basically a method of shaping one's eyebrow and getting rid of the excess hair using thread. 

Eyebrow hair is not a pretty thing and my deepest fear was that I'd start looking like Bert from Sesame street. 

Never having used a tweezer in my life I found that I had no choice now. So I began sitting in front of the mirror, painstakingly tweezing the tiny extra hairs that were absolutely messing up the shape of my eyebrows. One by one I yanked the little hairs out of my skin (yes, I deliberately make it sound painful and tedious so that you'll feel sorry for me). The end result would never satisfy me but I'd just be thankful I didn't have a big, fat, fuzzy thing pitching a tent and living on my forehead.

So by now you may have an inkling of what Brow Spa is. Yes, eyebrow threading. I ran in, sat myself down on the chair with a big, silly smile on my face, thinking ha, bye bye Bert and good riddance! And, obviously, the salon was run by two Indians furiously speaking in Hindi. I walked out of the salon feeling 10 pounds lighter.

I dread the return of Bert.

My Ponshpop Squarepants surprise

Ponshpop is the middle east's version of Spongebob, just in case you're wondering. Don't believe me? I have proof. Please refer picture below :-P 

I saw that ^ in Egypt last year and (dramatically) gasped in horror. 

So today is my 24th birthday. Mom and Rebecca picked me up after lunch and we headed to Cheri to watch 'Epic' which, let me tell you, is super cute and you HAVE to watch it. It's hilarious! They dropped me back at my apartment after the movie and told me that there was a big surprise waiting for me at home. Rebecca was really excited about the cake she had baked for me and said that she couldn't wait for me to see it :-). 

Jonathan picked me up after work and we headed to the house where my big surprise cake would be revealed :D I was excited!

And whaddaya know! There he was.. all yellow and buck-toothy, resident of the pineapple under the sea, my crabby-patty-eating favorite  *insert drum roll* Ponshpop Squarepants :-D . 

I was so excited about it, as you can imagine.

We then cut a piece off the bottom of the cake and, in one hour, had jointly devoured his pants :-P . 

At the moment his happy, yellow face lies in my crowded fridge, waiting to be eaten by Mr. and Mrs Raj. 

I was Abe Lincoln in geek paradise

To help me continue looking like Abe Lincoln , you can buy me a stove pipe hat here --> http://www.amazon.com/Super-Deluxe-Stove-Adult-Shown/dp/B005L9D4IA/ref=sr_sp-btf_image_1_24?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1369671755&sr=1-24&keywords=stove+pipe+hat    :-P :-D  It's my birthday tomorrow so you can't possibly refuse! 

Please? 

So on Friday evening, my post box was extra special because it had this in it: 

The place we stayed at was beauuuutiful - http://www.shilohchennault.com/. It was decorated civil war style and each room was named after some civil war personality - Lincoln, Ulysses Grant, Robert Lee etc. We stayed in the Lincoln Presidential suite which had a huuuge portrait of Lincoln and two paintings of the shiloh battles, and old, antique furniture. You can imagine my excitement at all this! 

Jonathan got talking with the manager and we discovered that he was a brilliant Fulbright scholar to Sweden (omg!) and a Phd grad from Harvard (double omg!). Then we wondered why in the world a Harvard grad was working at a B&B and googled him (it is impossible to even exist without google). Turns out he has quite a past; the deetz of which I will not go into (poor guy). But, honestly, the guy was really nice, a fantastic cook (breakfast was out of this world) so we pretended to be completely oblivious of his *ahem* rather sketchy past. 

  

We visited all the Shiloh battlefields and since it was Memorial Day there were people from the military talking about all the wars fought by the United States over the years, beginning from the revolutionary war of 1775 to the Iraq war. There was also a fire demonstration using weaponry since 1775 to the modern day guns used in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The guy introducing them to the crowd got the year of the revolutionary war wrong and said 1776 instead of 1775. When I pointed this out to Jonathan, I was accused of being waaaaay too nerdy. SIGH. I let the insult slide though because he's absolutely right.

We were also allowed to sit in the jeeps and tanks used by the US during the second world war. HOW COOL IS THAT! 

The guy representing the second world war, on hearing that I was there on my surprise birthday trip, said that my interests were odd for a 'li'l young lady'. Then he excitedly showed me all his hand grenades  :-P .

Dinner was at 'Kokomo's '50's diner' in  Adamsville, TN which is a cool, little diner decorated '50s style that plays only '50s music. They were grilling burgers outside and as nice as it all was we were slightly annoyed in the end because they charged us extra for a burger we ordered at closing time. Hmph! Loved the place though :) .

 Lastly, we visited Memphis to meet the Hart twins who have been Jonathan's friends since he was a little boy. I saw the largest onion rings on the face of the earth in the bar we went to. I swear.. they were monster onion rings!

Literally every second of the weekend was fabulous and I had the best time ever.



Ok, don't forget my hat :D .

Oh, I had to mention this - I was called Meghan again. This time BY INDIANS!!! O.M.G. WHAT. 

Hi, it's (not) Meghan.

I go by that name now.

And no, unlike Krishnaswamimoorthyrajanakrishnan who changed his name to 'Chris' and Kozhiyaliyarani who changed her name to 'Kelly' (LOL), Meghan came about involuntarily. Ok I'm kidding, I don't actually call myself that but everyone else seems to. Sigh, no white folks, I don't blame you for (slightly) messing my name up. It's only natural that you would read 'Meghna' as 'Meghan' since that's the name you're used to. I ignored it in the beginning - somtimes shrugged it off, sometimes politely corrected it, sometimes just let them call me Meghan. 

But the final straw was when we received a beautiful hand-made quilt as a wedding present from a very thoughtful person. I excitedly pulled the quilt out of the box and unraveled it. And there, very legible and clear, written on the quilt were the words 'Jonathan and Meghan - Jan 7, 2013'. Not meaning to look a gift horse in the mouth (it truly is a lovely quilt and all) but come oooon! 

Sigh.

So I've made a decision. 'Meg' is what I'm going to use hereafter. It's simple, a short form of Meghna itself and, most importantly, isn't Meghan. 

"What to do when you sprain your butt"

So my husband and I went jogging last evening and the only reason I forgave him for all the chaos that ensued (him being the root cause of it all) was because he is downright adorable. Like .. like this platypus.

Here's what happened. We recently weighed ourselves and I wasn't too pleased with the somewhat huge number I saw when he stepped on the weighing scale. So last evening I somehow forced him to put his tennis shoes on and shove him out the front door, much to his chagrin. I was, as you can imagine, faced with great opposition and a volley of complaints about how it is simply tooo tiring to exercise after work. Turning a deaf ear to all this, I dished out a few threats about cooking only broccoli for the rest of the week and, fearing broccoli more than exercise, he finally agreed to go jogging with me around "The Loop" which is basically a 2.2 mile pavement that circles the entire university campus. 

He first said that he wanted to warm up. Absolutely pleased by this statement I left him to do his stretches but, on returning, found this instead :

The series finale of 'The Office' was airing apparently. 

After I was forced to do a bit of chastising, it became this 

So we finally (heavy emphasis on the word 'finally') set out on our run. Our goal (well, MY goal) was to walk 4.4 miles because we really needed the exercise. The past few weeks have been filled with nothing but good food and good-er drink(s) (even though I tried making myself feel better by drinking diet coke more than anything else). Funnily, as soon as we set out he had a sudden burst of energy and enthusiasm and completely agreed with me about the 4.4 miles. "Let's start running!", he said. "Wow, ok", I said. And we began running. Surprisingly, I tire out quicker than he does when we run and he tires out quicker than I do when we walk. I have NO idea how anyone can get more tired from walking than running. But my husband is a special man :P . So we ran and walked, ran and walked, ran and walked. We finally reached the end of the loop and we now had 2.2 miles left to go. I turn around to look at him and he gazes at me like this

 I immediately know what's coming. "Can we go home, pleeeeease?". Argh, how can anyone say no to that face. Gets me everytime! "FINE!", I say in exasperation, "We'll do the rest later". And we begin to walk home. I'm actually pretty tired out by now and want to stroll home leisurely. But another burst of energy hits him and he starts screaming "LET'S RACE HOME! LET'S RACE HOME! SPRINT!" . What! Lose to my husband?! "Never!", screams my silly ego. So we begin sprinting and soon we both get tired and start walking again. As we approach the house, I cheat and start sprinting without telling him and reach the door first. 

Pain shoots through my upper thigh and, there's no other way of saying this, my butt hurt. And it hurt bad! I open the door and collapse on the floor screaming "My butt! My butt!" . Jonathan is torn between concern and mirth and immediately googles "What to do when you sprain your butt" (This post should really be an ode to google. Jeez). Google said "rest your buttocks for 2-3 weeks". 

So that's what my (insert B word) are currently doing. 

Resting. 

And no, you are not allowed to laugh at me :P .

Conclusion : My husband is a pain in the butt ? :-)