Poo(p) Pourri

Imagine this. You're at a swanky bar, dressed to the 9s, sipping on cocktails, talking to a group of people who think you're the coolest girl on the earth. Then you're tummy begins to rumble. And not because you're hungry. You mentally chastise yourself because you know you should've have stayed away from that taco earlier. You politely excuse yourself and make your way to the restroom.

You quickly slam the restroom door shut, sit down on the toilet and get to business. The clock is ticking and you really want to leave, but today just isn't your day. So you keep sitting there waiting for business to end. You can sense that the line outside the restroom is getting longer and longer. People are getting impatient and you can hear them murmuring to each other "Is anybody in there? It's been forever! Why don't you knock?". Then an impatient knock on the door and you respond, in a strangled, embarrassed voice, "Yes". "Oh", says that person. 

The deed is done and you finally hit the fancy looking flush on the fancy looking toilet you just completely destroyed. But now you face your biggest problem. How do you explain to the girl outside that she probably needs to stay away from the restroom stall for maybe two days if she wants to avoid dying? You open the door and quickly run out the restroom door before anyone takes note of your face and then recognizes you walking around the bar later on.

If that's the story of your life, apparently there's a fantastic product you need to buy. "Poo Pourri" it's called. 

I watched the youtube video and died laughing. Apparently you spray the fragrance into the water of the toilet before you "go" and then after you've "gone" , the layer of essential oils on the water blocks the scent and traps it underneath the water. When you flush you will be able to smell peaches, vanilla, cinnamon and other lovely goodies (depending on what flavor "Poo Pourri" you chose to buy) instead of the terrible crime you just committed behind that shut door. 

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing. 

I know what I'm buying every single person I know for Xmas this year. May we smell like dessert factories always, even at our darkest, most heinous hour.