"What to do when you sprain your butt"

So my husband and I went jogging last evening and the only reason I forgave him for all the chaos that ensued (him being the root cause of it all) was because he is downright adorable. Like .. like this platypus.

Here's what happened. We recently weighed ourselves and I wasn't too pleased with the somewhat huge number I saw when he stepped on the weighing scale. So last evening I somehow forced him to put his tennis shoes on and shove him out the front door, much to his chagrin. I was, as you can imagine, faced with great opposition and a volley of complaints about how it is simply tooo tiring to exercise after work. Turning a deaf ear to all this, I dished out a few threats about cooking only broccoli for the rest of the week and, fearing broccoli more than exercise, he finally agreed to go jogging with me around "The Loop" which is basically a 2.2 mile pavement that circles the entire university campus. 

He first said that he wanted to warm up. Absolutely pleased by this statement I left him to do his stretches but, on returning, found this instead :

The series finale of 'The Office' was airing apparently. 

After I was forced to do a bit of chastising, it became this 

So we finally (heavy emphasis on the word 'finally') set out on our run. Our goal (well, MY goal) was to walk 4.4 miles because we really needed the exercise. The past few weeks have been filled with nothing but good food and good-er drink(s) (even though I tried making myself feel better by drinking diet coke more than anything else). Funnily, as soon as we set out he had a sudden burst of energy and enthusiasm and completely agreed with me about the 4.4 miles. "Let's start running!", he said. "Wow, ok", I said. And we began running. Surprisingly, I tire out quicker than he does when we run and he tires out quicker than I do when we walk. I have NO idea how anyone can get more tired from walking than running. But my husband is a special man :P . So we ran and walked, ran and walked, ran and walked. We finally reached the end of the loop and we now had 2.2 miles left to go. I turn around to look at him and he gazes at me like this

 I immediately know what's coming. "Can we go home, pleeeeease?". Argh, how can anyone say no to that face. Gets me everytime! "FINE!", I say in exasperation, "We'll do the rest later". And we begin to walk home. I'm actually pretty tired out by now and want to stroll home leisurely. But another burst of energy hits him and he starts screaming "LET'S RACE HOME! LET'S RACE HOME! SPRINT!" . What! Lose to my husband?! "Never!", screams my silly ego. So we begin sprinting and soon we both get tired and start walking again. As we approach the house, I cheat and start sprinting without telling him and reach the door first. 

Pain shoots through my upper thigh and, there's no other way of saying this, my butt hurt. And it hurt bad! I open the door and collapse on the floor screaming "My butt! My butt!" . Jonathan is torn between concern and mirth and immediately googles "What to do when you sprain your butt" (This post should really be an ode to google. Jeez). Google said "rest your buttocks for 2-3 weeks". 

So that's what my (insert B word) are currently doing. 

Resting. 

And no, you are not allowed to laugh at me :P .

Conclusion : My husband is a pain in the butt ? :-)